Teen Gothic

I've witnessed an enormous amount of goths claim this. No matter how much I try to make myself clear and bring up points as to why I think every element of the subculture makes up what it is and doesn't lose its goth label just because it's not the thing goth is based on, all I get is "it's a MUSIC based subculture, I don't get what's so hard to understand about that".

My argument was that goth fashion is goth fashion regardless of whether or not the one who wears it is goth. You're calling it that, so what are people supposed to call it? I get it that goths don't like how the visual style has become more popular than the music, so much so that the general public instantly associates goth with a visual thing and rarely music, but that doesn't change anything as to how labeling this style of dress "goth" would be accurate.

The goths I spoke to seem to be absolutely convinced that if you really like the music, you instantly become enveloped by the lyrics, melody and atmosphere and become a true, authentic goth, which is absolutely unrealistic. People experience everything, especially music, differently. Am I crazy for saying you're not instantly a member of an entire subculture if you like to listen to the music it is based on?

When I was in high school, I was called a metalhead by young and old and I absolutely hated it. My friend group was a bunch of alternative kids and we did listen to quite a bit of metal, but I did not identify with the metalheads one bit. I'm very picky about my music and I don't have a main genre I like, yet metalheads acted as if we have some kinship that goes without saying.

As far as what I think makes someone goth, it's being able to really connect to the inspiration that births all the music, visuals, atmosphere and sentiments associated with goth. Music doesn't just appear, it's created. It's the most important part of the subculture, but someone who simply likes to listen to it doesn't necessarily connect to it or the others who do. Subcultures exist because of the people and their desire for kinship, listening to music is just called listening to music, dressing a certain way is just called dressing a certain way, and neither instantly drops a label onto you.

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My (much) older colleague at work asked me that question a few days ago, causing an akward situation somehow. As we are far away from being friends I was really surprised, that's him, who was asking. Actually nobody ever asked me that (in the past most of the time I didn't wear black), so I was a little bit shocked what to say. "No" would have been a lie (obviously, as I wore an all black outfit with some pentagram jewelry at that day), but a simple "yes" felt wrong, as well. As I didn't know what to say else, finally I said yes and the scene ended as strange as it began, by him replying "Aha" and returning to work.

Does that sound familiar for anyone? Can anyone advise me how to handle such situations more elegant?

Edit: Thank you so much for your numerous and precious comments, to ALL OF YOU. You really helped me alot, to handle those situations more confident the next time.

I'm looking for the best, most accesible, newish bands to start a friend over into goth music, I tried with the 80 stuff but the production was a turn off for them, so I wanna get them into newer bands and work my way from there, help

PS: I started them w/ AFIs Blood Album / Bodies w have a lot of pretty good goth elements and they enjoyed that

EDIT: I get AFI is not a goth band, I never said they were ?? I said my friend was a fan so I showed them their newer stuff as I thought it would be a good segway lol, can we not derail the subjet please? at this point mentioning any other band that's not goth here is a sin or something. Im not making that mistake ever again… thanks for the dislikes though

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I prefer female singers over male ones so bands with female singers would be nice.

This person was insulting people and calling them Trolls. I replied to their comment which had nothing to do with anything goth.

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They decided to try and insult me for being goth 😑 It was such a ridiculous comment. I Didn't even know how I should reply. I replied anyway.

Honestly their tolling was so stupid it made me laugh, bit if I were a younger goth I might have been actually offended. I shared this with a friend because recently talking about situations like this, but I figured I would share it on here because it seemed relevant to recent posts.

Here are the screen shots

https://ibb.co/Yhy12tC

https://ibb.co/Qng9HCR

https://ibb.co/nbXL2HS

https://ibb.co/PC2Rc7s

Maybe I shouldn't have said anything but I don't even state I am goth on my personal Instagram, I also don't state my age. The only thing on it was 1 picture where a friend and I found a sticker outside a gay bar that said Texas Goth and we had to take a picture by it.

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Here is a link to the comments on Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/CTeuTtijB_B/

i usually just walk off, but recently i was put in a situation where i wasn’t able to do so.

and i’m not necessarily talking about off the cuff comments, catcalling or bad jokes, rather somebody clearly seeing you and treating you as less-than, solely because of how you look.

i wouldn’t mind taking a dig at them as well lol i’m just naturally very polite and nervous, which always stops me.

any advice?

Hi everyone,

I know this is genuinely odd and probably a little desperate, but here I am. Basically, I have no idea what to get or where to look for some small gifts/surprises for my (23f) girlfriend (24f). Quick backstory, I am what my girlfriend likes to jokingly call a "normie" I m your stereotypical j-crew looking frat boy just not a douche, and am a woman. My girlfriend, however, is very into the goth and punk scene. She listens to all the music and is definitely into the fashion. She's new to it but feels like she finally found her people and I am super supportive of her!

I'm in law school right now in the midst of finals and she's really pulling extra weight since I m so busy and I wanted to make the holidays extra special to show my appreciation. EXCEPT, I have no idea where or what to buy someone who's into this culture? I am totally lost. I managed to figure out she likes a shoe brand (that seems to be banned from this subreddit?) and got her a pair, but was looking for some smaller stuff that's goth-oriented? She has a wishlist of items for when she window-shops but was hoping for a unique idea that she would be surprised at but would like.

Any suggestions for brands, items, or things to do/look for would be super helpful. I know my girlfriend well and what she does/does not like, but am definitely out of my wheelhouse when it comes to anything relating to goth and just want to show that I m interested in learning/supporting this aspect of her. If anyone has any ideas that would be lovely and I m so very sorry if this does not come off well or is offensive to the group/culture. I just have no idea what the culture entails (i am reading/studying it to learn more, but its a slow catch up) and want to be supportive by getting her something that its related to. Thank you again!